Here I am!

I am a white, working-class, female, able-bodied waitress from New York. I have two BA's in Gender and Women's Studies and Political Psychology. I have had the privilege to travel all over the world from India to Canada. Some inspiration came to me recently to start a blog about my next adventure in Ecuador, so here it is!! Enjoy!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Here

The initial appeal of the trip here was the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing. I work best under pressure after all. I have to say though, traveling has these really strange moments of loneliness where it almost feels like I don't exist.  I stand out at the same time as being ignored- strange feeling. My confidence peaks and falls pretty fast and regularly. Sometimes it's so low I'm overwhelmed and feel like I'm suffocating. Then all of a sudden something happens and I'm up again. I wonder if other people feel this way when traveling...

As I'm here, for the most part being ignored, life at home goes on. Dealing with the disconnect with the life I'm so used to, while at the same time creating a temporary new life feels impossible sometimes. I don't know if what I'm writing makes any sense, but I'll continue. It feels much harder to deal with problems and stress here- it all just piles on at once- and there's nobody around to lean on. After going over my to-do list at work before I left today, I felt almost like I was drowning. From work I walked an hour back to the hotel and I don't remember the walk at all. I wonder if I looked before I crossed all of those streets. 

This post isn't a cry for help. I really am happy with my decision to stay here! I just am feeling a huge inconsistency that I just can't seem to figure out. This country is really different than all of the other countries I've ever been to- of course it is. It's not the place or the people, it's something in me that's just not fitting right now. I think I'll be going back to the rainforest soon for about two weeks, hopefully that will help me to clear my head! 

Anyways, on a lighter note the chef of the hotel is sneaking me dinner tonight- pasta carbonera...I don't know what it is, but people always give me food. I had a dream about grandpa a few weeks ago where he gave me some advice and took me out for a drive. Although he's probably the last person I would expect,  I wonder if he is looking out for me?


Friday, August 19, 2011

Growth


Growth

The brief pause
The pregnant silence from our rapid routine
A sweet retreat
Satisfying and simple
The copper sun rises and sets
No assistance necessary.
The abundant river nourishes
The umbilical cord of the Amazon
Drums of our feet
Mountains heart beat
I see there never was a choice
Between right and wrong
Only what is necessary
And what is not
We confess our loneliness
Our laborious self concealment
Secretive spirits waiting for their debut
As we reveal our faceless pains
Wash away our overdue stains
We are liberated from our pride and vain
Letting Pachamama in our veins
Swallow her spirit
Let her purity pour through me
Satisfied
Purified
Our halos of ammunition
And new religion of assurance
Our concept of capacity
Our resistance to risk
Our pungent pride
We exchange all this for nourishment
We awaken from the dream
End the trance
Transform

Unexpected Turns

I've never been very good at planning. Even when I think I have a good plan for my life, it never seems to work out the way I expected. Therefore, I am in the ultimate point of go-with-the-flow. Por ejemplo, my plan was to come to Ecuador for two weeks on a journey with Pachamama Alliance, followed by a year of teaching English to an Indigenous Tribe in the Amazon. Here I am though, writing a blog in the office of Pachamama in Quito! Not quite what I expected, but I think it is what I need.

There is so much to write about in what has happened in the last two weeks! I am not sure I know where to begin. Overall there were 14 travelers in our group, 13 women and our male guide, Daniel/Daniella. Who knew that so many different backgrounds and ages could come together to form one solid and impenetrable tribe of Kakaram Nua (which means strong and empowered woman in Achuar language). 

These past few days have been some the most refreshing of my life. Through the travels and learning about Pachamama, I have regained my passion and connection with nature and the world I live in. I'm not sure exactly where I lost it. I probably lost it somewhere along the path when I stopped singing. Now the trip is over and I am singing again! (Sidenote: those who know me, know I never miss a Mariah Carey Christmas or a good Whitney Houston song!)

I figure I will just integrate the stories from the initial trip as they seem to fit into my new experiences here in Quito working with Fundacion Pachamama. I'm really reaching out now for any possible unique fundraiser ideas, donations, and grant-writing skills if anybody has anything to offer.

Currently I am working with Red Transfronteriza, a faction of Pachamama that works with the tribes in the Amazon who have been separated by state borders in recent years. The states we are focusing on is Ecuador, Brazil, Peru, Bolivia and Colombia. These state lines have divided indigenous communities and families. With the Red Transfronteriza, we are working to re-open and start communication between these communities, teach them about their human and land rights, create leadership workshops for the leaders of the communities, and lastly gain institutional recognition and respect for collective rights and the ancestral lands of people and nations divided by borders. Pretty cool...

Secondly, I am working with another faction of Pachamama called Jungle Mama's. This is a program that teaches the women of villages about safe birthing practices, hygiene, in some rare cases methods of birth control, and STI's. I am gearing up to help put together some "birth kits" to be given out in some of the communities that have agreed to work with Jungle Mama's. This program really touches my heart because of how much work has gone into getting it started. Historically, women in these villages have up to 10 or more children. Men take on multiple wives as a means to spawn as many children as possible. Speculating, I would say this is because they are a warrior tribe who were constantly trying to increase their numbers for power and strength. After meeting with male tribal leaders for three years, Jungle Mama's finally convinced them to allow them to integrate some new practices into their lives. For example, when giving birth women typically would walk into the woods alone with a machete, give birth, then cut the umbilical cord with the machete. This was mainly because birthing was a sacred process between the mother and child, and partly because it is culturally unacceptable to display emotions. As you can see, this caused high mother and child mortality rates. For the tribal leaders to allow Jungle Mama's to change this way of life for them was an amazingly huge step. 


Besides these two major projects, I am also working on some translations, press releases, fundraising, social media projects, and blogging! So overall I am keeping myself very busy. Currently I am doing a type of couch-surfing...in hotels. Somehow I have managed to figure it out this far! This Sunday I am looking at a studio apartment which I am fairly certain I will move in the same day (considering I have nowhere else to go!). From what I've heard its beautiful and affordable. Once I am established, I am open to visitors and please come! 

Until next time, hope to hear your comments!!! Saludos

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Today's the Day!

I'm sitting in an airport in Miami sharing a precious outlet with some stranger. Everybody in this airport speaks Spanish. It makes me think about how much I will miss speaking my native language and the ease of expressing myself without constantly having to think about conjugating my next word! There are so many unknowns in this trip and this is the longest I've ever been away from home. I don't know where I'm staying, if I'll be able to contact my family and friends, how I'm going to live up to the expectations this organization has for me...

Coming from a person who believes in signs and destiny, the alarm in the airport just went off. Not sure how I should read into that one! I was sitting on the plane here trying to figure out how I came to the point I am in life today. At first I traced it back to me telling my Dad that I wanted to go abroad on an internship or volunteer. Then I thought, I never would have asked him that had I not traveled as a student every year. Further,who knows if I would haver studied abroad had my Dad not taken me abroad before college! After tracing it all back as far as the day of my birth (and beyond), I decided that this is my destiny right now. That must be why I'm not feeling nerves or anxiety creep in. In fact, I feel I am exactly where I need to be and cannot wait to see what happens next!

Adios amigos! La proxima post voy a estar de Quito! Besos!